Archive for the Half-Drunk Category

Half Drunk: The Point?

Posted in Half-Drunk with tags , on December 12, 2009 by czriley

Ok, here we are near the end of Momalom’s Half-Drunk Challenge. And I’ve been stressing out because I really wanted to write something serious, too. And yet nothing I could write could even begin to compete with some of the amazing, brave, soul-bearing things that have been written. I know, it’s not a competition, not really. Sure, someone will win a prize. But the real prize is the chance to be brave, really brave and daring and say something we never said before. And I can’t.

Maybe I’m trying too hard. Maybe it’s that perfectionist streak rearing it’s ugly head yet again. (See previous post: Not Half Drnnk. Yet.)  Maybe I just know I can’t begin to write words that will move others the way I’ve been moved by so many of your posts. Moved to laughter, moved to tears.

I think I missed the point, somehow.  The point was to relax, to let our hair down, and put something out there we wouldn’t normally.  And I did manage that, in a small way.  I just need to stop stressing about what I didn’t or couldn’t do, and enjoy the silliness I did put out there.  Then think with awe of the beautiful things you’ve all  written.  And feel incredibly grateful that you shared them with us.


Half-Drunk: XXXmas Carols

Posted in Half-Drunk on December 8, 2009 by czriley

WARNING: This post is X-Rated; or at least a serious R.  Don’t let the kids read it!

I started on another post for Half-Drunk; something on the serious side. And then I thought of something else, something funny. It’s now 8pm and it’s been a long hell of an afternoon/evening, and it’s not over yet. So I’m saving the serious idea for another time, because right now I need a good laugh. So I give you X-Rated Christmas Carols.
I have to credit a good friend named Sandy who got me started on these years ago. She and her sister had written new lyrics to part of Winter Wonderland. She is not to blame, however, for the extremes I took it to! So here are a couple; careful not to sing them in front of the kids!

Sexy Winter Wonderland

Ben-wa balls, how they jingle
When they ring, how we tingle
A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight
Rocking in a Winter Wonderland.
Gone away is the sad face, hear to stay is the glad face
We moan and we sigh, as with pleasure we writhe,
Rocking in a Winter Wonderland
In the meadow we can screw ’til sun-up
but only if you wear your red long johns
otherwise you know you’ll freeze your balls off
and that would put an end to all our fun.
Later on, we’ll perspire, as we screw by the fire
and face unafraid, the chance of carpet burns,
Rocking in a Winter Wonderland

Rudolph the Well-Hung Reindeer

Rudolph the Well-Hung Reindeer
had a very mighty schlong
and if you ever saw it
you would even say it glowed
All of the other reindeer
envied him his giant prick
they never measured up
with their little tiny dicks.
Then one frisky Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
Rudolph with your schlong so big
treat the girls and have a fling
Then all the reindeer loved him
as they shouted out with glee “Pick me!”
Rudolph the Well-Hung Reindeer
You’ll go down in history!

Not Half-Drunk. Yet.

Posted in Half-Drunk with tags , on December 7, 2009 by czriley

Ok, this is so stupid! I was excited about Momalom’s Half Drunk challenge. Be fun to have a little drink, let my hair down, and write something brave and daring. It sounded so simple, so easy. And then my mind kicked in.
You see, I suffer from the disease known as perfectionism. And I’ve started worrying about what I’m going to write for the challenge. Should I go for something funny? Something serious? How serious would be too serious? Is there even such a thing as too serious for this? Whatever topic I chose, I want it to be a good read. So then I worry that whatever I choose, my writing won’t be good enough. People are actually going to READ this thing; what if it sucks? Will they scoff and never read my stuff again? Will I FAIL???
See what I mean? This is how my mind works. About a lot of things in my life. And there’s no cure, that I know of.

So, what am I going to do? I’m going to try really really hard to stop freaking out over this. Then one night this week I’m going to sit down with a cup of hot chocolate, liberally laced with Bailey’s. I will not think ahead or plan, I will just sit down and write whatever comes to me. It may suck, it may be brilliant. I will just have to let go, and let it happen. It’s not going to be easy, even with the Bailey’s, but I’m going to try. Wish me luck!

Coming Soon: Half Drunk

Posted in Half-Drunk with tags on December 6, 2009 by czriley

Momalom, whose blog I highly recommend, by the way, is having a Half Drunk Challenge. Read about it here:
Well, lord knows my blog could use a little spicing up! Or even just another entry, since I’m not writing very often yet. So I’m gonna take the Half Drunk challenge, and see what happens. No promises about what I’ll write; guess it’ll depend on how much hot chocolate laced with Bailey’s I drink. Will be fun seeing what happens! If you have a blog, too, then join in! Let’s all party together!